So you’ve swiped your way to finding someone halfway decent – how long should you wait before setting a date to meet in real life? I’m not going to leave you hanging on this one; let’s get right to it. As soon as possible.
As soon as you know this person is a potential keeper, plan a date. I cannot stress this enough – get off that app quickly. I recommend a maximum of talking for a week before meeting in person, and I’ll tell you exactly why…
Don’t Waste Time
Do you really want to spend weeks on end replying to messages and trying to think of a conversation starter? Are you trying to find a pen-pal? (If so – go right ahead.) Until you actually meet, nothing changes – you are still two strangers on opposite ends of the phone. You can’t agree to be exclusive, and there are likely more messages coming in on both of your phones. Whats more, do you really want to spend weeks chatting to a person who later turns out to be not quite your type?
Don’t Let The Flame Go Out
Messages get boring. There’s only so much you can convey in a text, and there’s only so long you can be excited about this new flame when all you have are words on a screen. Do you want them to associate you with that draining feeling of having too many notifications? Do you want to let go of all mystery and basically write your own autobiography in the message box on that dating app? No. That all sounds so dull. Relationships weren’t built on phone screens. If you’re looking for something serious, don’t let this be an online romance that dies a death and never gets a chance to be anything real.
Get To Know The Real Person
Messaging online or on the phone gives people the ability to be far more confident than they might usually be. You have time to think of a clever response or a joke, and if someone says something you don’t understand, you can Google it and write back later. You can basically be an entirely different person online. That all might sound good but you have to meet some time. Best to make that sooner than later, and get to know the real people behind the profiles and photos. Start to build trust and something better than a pen-pal relationship.
Meeting In Person Actually Helps You Bond
When you meet in real life and you find someone you are attracted to, your brain sets off a whole bunch of chemical reactions. The chemicals released in your body can make you feel giddy, euphoric, and even start the first stages of falling in love. Whether it’s just a kiss, a hug, or hand holding – nothing can replace that physical contact and intimacy, and the bonding that happens when you’re with each other in real life.
Let Those Sparks Fly
Flirting on an app is not the same. You’re not nervous, there are no butterflies, and you can’t even make eye contact. You write “hahaha” at their joke while you sit straight-faced, not laughing at all. It’s just not the same experience. Sure, you can Facetime or call, but to actually be in that moment, in that place, with that person – nothing can replicate that experience. Flirting in real life is far more spontaneous and exciting, and nothing beats that charged moment of eye contact.
Bottom Line
Yes, do your background checks (just me?) or whatever you like to do. Make sure you’re meeting a real person in a safe and public place, and friends know where you are and how long you’ll be. Get to know each other on the app and see if you have much in common. But as soon as you get the feeling that this is someone you’ll want to get to know for real, get that date in the diary!
